The Last Melon

Written 3/8/15

 “To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted; A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace... I know that there is no good in them, but for a man to rejoice, and to do good in his life.”

I hate goodbyes. I've always hated goodbyes. I probably will always hate goodbyes. But I am lucky to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard. This week I've scaled every range of emotion from love, happiness,  peace, excitement, all the way to loneliness, sadness and just feeling blank. This week has been so good because it was just  normal missionary week. We got punted a lot, walked a LOT of kilometers in the hot sun and met a lot of crazy people, and in the end, I still love my life. I love being a missionary. I love the gospel of Jesus Christ.

This week Je. A. Sr. was baptized. He was my very first appointment in Sagay, and my last baptism in the field. A lot of unexplainable things happened to somehow get Je. here after how many years. All I can do is give praise to an omniscient God who has absolutely perfect timing.

Today, W. and B. Boy came with me to Bacolod to process their marrige papers. They will be getting married and baptized on May 2nd, 2015.

This week our Zone Conference on Thursday was everything you'd want a last Zone Conference to be. Sister Rey and I had an opportunity to give a training, and we got to listen to our ZL's and Assistants give great trainings s well. I was the chorister and as we sang the line in More Holiness Give Me, "More longing for home..." it suddenly had a different meaning than it did all those months ago when I sang those exact words in the MTC choir. My idea of home has changed drastically. In Charlotte's words, "This is my home now." :) There were, however, 2 things that were the best ever at zone conference that I want to share with you.

One: L. and M., the husbands of 2 of my recent converts from Inayauan wrote me. They have both decided to be baptized and shared that they have felt the influence of the Holy Ghost more and more, and they thanked Sister Santos and I for returning to their families even when they didn't want to listen. Does God just have perfect surprises in store or what?

Two: Before I left on my mission, I was unsure of my decision to serve or not. As I pondered, I reread Elder Holland's talk from General Conference of 2012, "The First and Great Commandment" and if any of you have read it, you'll know immediately why it was easy to decide. It was the talk that started all of this for me... It was also the talk that has inspired me every time I've felt discouraged. And it was the talk that President Ferrin's training was based on. I want to share a bit with you, (actually it's a lot) but it's better to get the full effect if you just watch him give the talk, with the volume turned up good and loud. Don't just skip over this part. Read it. Read it all.

“To which Jesus responded (and here again I acknowledge my nonscriptural elaboration), perhaps saying something like: “Then Peter, why are you here? Why are we back on this same shore, by these same nets, having this same conversation? Wasn’t it obvious then and isn’t it obvious now that if I want fish, I can get fish? What I need, Peter, are disciples—and I need them forever. I need someone to feed my sheep and save my lambs. I need someone to preach my gospel and defend my faith. I need someone who loves me, truly, truly loves me, and loves what our Father in Heaven has commissioned me to do. Ours is not a feeble message. It is not a fleeting task. It is not hapless; it is not hopeless; it is not to be consigned to the ash heap of history. It is the work of Almighty God, and it is to change the world. So, Peter, for the second and presumably the last time, I am asking you to leave all this and to go teach and testify, labor and serve loyally until the day in which they will do to you exactly what they did to me.”

Then, turning to all the Apostles, He might well have said something like: “Were you as foolhardy as the scribes and Pharisees? As Herod and Pilate? Did you, like they, think that this work could be killed simply by killing me? Did you, like they, think the cross and the nails and the tomb were the end of it all and each could blissfully go back to being whatever you were before? Children, did not my life and my love touch your hearts more deeply than this?”

My beloved brothers and sisters, I am not certain just what our experience will be on Judgment Day, but I will be very surprised if at some point in that conversation, God does not ask us exactly what Christ asked Peter: “Did you love me?”

I think He will want to know if in our very mortal, very inadequate, and sometimes childish grasp of things, did we at least understand one commandment, the first and greatest commandment of them all—“Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy strength, and with all thy mind.” And if at such a moment we can stammer out, “Yea, Lord, thou knowest that I love thee,” then He may remind us that the crowning characteristic of love is always loyalty.

“If ye love me, keep my commandments,” Jesus said. So we have neighbors to bless, children to protect, the poor to lift up, and the truth to defend. We have wrongs to make right, truths to share, and good to do. In short, we have a life of devoted discipleship to give in demonstrating our love of the Lord. We can’t quit and we can’t go back. After an encounter with the living Son of the living God, nothing is ever again to be as it was before.”

About that last part. I would classify my mission as my own personal encounter with the living Son of God. And because of it, nothing is ever again to be as it was before. All those things Elder Holland mentioned above in his last paragraph are not just things missionaries do. I intend to not only serve Christ as His missionary, but as His disciple.  I testify from the bottom of my heart that this is the restored Church of Jesus Christ on the earth. I love the Book of Mormon, and it is the most powerful tool in the world to bring us closer to our Savior. I testify that God lives and that Jesus died and was resurrected. I know that Joseph Smith was God's elect and foreordained prophet. I can say now that I know whose name I wear on my name tag every day. I know him as my Friend, my Brother, my Master, my Counselor, my Savior, my Lord and my God. Elder Holland said in this same talk:

“I include in that call to fixed faithfulness every returned missionary who ever stood in a baptismal font and with arm to the square said, “Having been commissioned of Jesus Christ.” That commission was to have changed your convert forever, but it was surely supposed to have changed you forever as well.”

I've thought about that statement of his every time I've watched an investigator be baptized. And I am changed because of it. But I guess the "changed forever" part is the new test I will be facing for the rest of my life. I want to offer my thanks to you for your support and love these past 18 months. This was hands down the best decision I could have ever made and has brought me more happiness than I've ever felt. I am in eternal debt to my Father in Heaven, because He allowed me to have this life changing experience with life changing people. I miss you all, but not that much. See you in a bit.

Paalam kag halong. Palangga ko kamo.

Sister Luke