I Know That My Redeemer Lives

Written 4/6/14

Hi family.

Where to start?

First of all, I'm STOKED for Conference. From all your comments and everything it sounded as good as I dreamed it would be. Literally, I dreamed about General Conference in case you wonder what the dreams of missionaries are. (They're pretty much exactly what you'd think.)

In funny news this week, I got pick pocketed! Yep! As we were getting on a bus my plete (traveling money) pouch got stolen. They probably thought I was a rich american with a lot of moneys, but jokes on them! I had like, maybe 50 pesos in there. That's about a dollar in American money. So there's that. I'm grateful for the Spirit directing us... Normally I carry around my camera with me, but that day for some reason I took it out of my bag. I was also going to grab some more cash from my wallet for plete, but decided against it as well. The Lord watches over us!

Also, I love the language barrier. Its so funny. Earlier this week Sister was trying to explain to me some ingredients in a Filipino dessert. She kept saying "gray ham bread" and I kept asking her what that was. After about 5 minutes I realized.. "graham". Graham crackers. Ahahaha. I cracked up.

This week has been the MOST HOT. Summer is here in the Pines, folks. My tan lines are getting pretty rad. It makes the work a little harder, but I also morbidly love it. I'm just walking down a dirt road in the ridiculous heat and thinking, "Yes. This is legit missionary work." As my dear sister Megan said, "There is just so much more happiness in life when the gospel is what you do." Isn't she wise? And so right.

My friends, agency is a frustrating principle. We had so, so many awesome, spiritually filling lessons this week with C., Sister F., and many others. They really committed to come to church.... But Sunday came, and they didn't. I spent a lot of church yesterday feeling devastated, inadequate, and wondering what in the world I was missing, and what I could have done better. I felt so empty, after a week of putting my heart into the work only to find that they didn't come to church. 

As I studied today in Moroni, I read Mormon's words to his son, about the Nephites and Lamanites he was teaching. He spoke of their wickedness and hardheartedness and that they were not accepting his message. The thought came to my mind that it wasn't Mormon that was lacking in the Spirit... It was those he was teaching. I'm sure Mormon was a powerful missionary, and dedicated and taught with the Spirit. But those Nephites and Lamanites still had their agency- and despite his best efforts, they still chose to reject his words. As I read this, feeling still rather downcast, I continued on in the chapter to verse 6, where there I found the "moral of the story" (for lack of a better term). Mormon says that despite these wicked people and their horrible abominations, that we shall not cease to labor, and labor diligently, because otherwise we will be brought under condemnation. The Spirit washed over me as I read those words, and I realized that even though our investigators will not always exercise their agency to choose the right (even though they may  not be as wicked as those Nephites and Lamanites), we do not cease to labor diligently. We continue, we strive, we do the very best and the very most that we can because that's what the Lord asks of us. Sometimes, like my dear friend Aubree said, all the Lord asks is that we push on the stone he puts in front of us with all our strength, even when the stone doesn't move,(even when the stone is not intended to be moved), because that is the way that we develop strength. It's not always about the rock, but it IS always about our effort and what the Lord requires of His servants. 

Agency is indeed frustrating sometimes, but so necessary. For when we do choose the right, it makes it that much sweeter, because we could choose the opposite. There is true sweetness in the phrase, "Opposition in all things". 

It also helps me realize more and more how frustrating I must be to my Father in Heaven sometimes when I don't do the things I know to be right. Just like me: We have these great, spiritually filling lessons with our investigators, they promise to come to church, and then they don't show. I've had these great, spiritually filling experiences with my Father in Heaven, I've made promises and covenants to him, and I still sin and fail. What a marvelous perspective has been brought to my view.

Earlier this morning, I finished reading the Book of Mormon again. I can tell you with full surety and all my heart and soul that through the Book of Mormon we can know that Christ is our Redeemer. I read the last verse in Moroni 10, and as I finished, the first thought in my head was the hymn, "I Know that My Redeemer Lives." I have an immovable, solid and  unshaken testimony that the Book of Mormon is the witness of our Savior, Jesus Christ. It is evidence that Joseph Smith was the Lord's consecrated servant in this work, and it is the one and only way for us to gain a knowledge of the truthfulness of this gospel. I just want the whole world to know that I know the book is true. Add my voice to those voices you all heard this past weekend at conference. List my name along theirs as a witness that this church is true. If you don't have a testimony, lean on mine. Because I can say with all my heart that I know. 

I've learned a lot about myself this week, and the flaws and weaknesses I see in myself. But one thing I also know, is that we can always "Come unto Christ and be perfected in Him." We can, through His grace, become perfected, complete, whole, and healed. I know these things to be true. On his mission my good friend Tanner said something that'll always stick with me, and I want to echo now:

 "Christ did die for us, but isn't the greater miracle in the fact that he lives, and lives for us?"

My lovely family, I know that my Redeemer lives.

Love,
Sister Luke